You Deserve What You Want...

Yes, you read that right.  You deserve what you want.  You might think you know this already.  Many of us think we already believe this, and yet still wonder why we don't get what we're after in life over and over.  Sometimes, secretly, we do have an idea of why we don't think we deserve what we want.  We never tell anyone about these doubts though.  It could be guilt about something we can't forgive ourselves for (like not working as hard as we think one should). It could also be something more specific like hurting someone we care about in the past, but honestly it doesn't matter.  We all deserve what we want with regard to our own happiness and circumstances.  That's a fact.

The key is to let go of the idea that happiness is something that needs to be earned.  Happiness is not some possibly unattainable, distant goal nor should it be.  Your happiness is inside you right now, and the circumstances that go with it are waiting to manifest for you.  It's only your own mind that is blocking you from these things.  Your own, doubting, fearful, second guessing, guilt-filled mind.  Those blocks are just tests.  They're there to give you a chance to see that you can be happy anyway, you just have to let those things go.  You just have to give yourself permission to be happy, and to allow that which you want to be yours.  It's simpler than it sounds, but I do understand that does not mean it's easy.  Our minds are stubborn bastards aren't they?  They get in the way of our common sense and our wisdom all the time.  It's a challenge that we've come into existence to face by learning through the experiences this dynamic creates.  Still, just believe you deserve it, and you do.  That is all for now, talk to you soon...

The Personal Power Coach

Speak For Your Anger, Don't Let It Speak For You...

This one is pretty simple.  What I'm saying is, don't allow anger to make you say or do things that aren't an expression of your best self.  It's OK to get angry from time to time.  It is a natural emotional reaction to certain circumstances. It's useful, even helpful to get angry at times.  Anger can give us strength, or courage, or even determination to overcome the adversities we might have to face at different times. It can be a good thing, if we can take the time and exercise the self control to use it properly.

Where it can become problematic is if, instead of staying in control...staying focused on our best actions and responses, we choose to lash out in destructive ways.  This can be damaging to the life we're trying to build--damaging to relationships, to opportunities, and even to ourselves (mentally, emotionally and yes, even physically).  This is what I'm referring to as "letting your anger speak for you."  More than likely, it's not going to lead to anything good or productive.  Often, the damage done isn't worth trying to repair, if it even can be.  And if you can clean it up, the time that takes can set you back and cost you opportunities to come.

Have you ever looked back on how you acted and thought or said, "I only did/said that because I was so angry..."?  If you have, this is what I'm talking about.  I'm betting if you've done this, looking back you probably wish that you hadn't done it.  At the very least I bet you wish that the person or set of circumstances that you give the credit for drawing out that response from you "wouldn't have driven you to do it," right?  If so, then you can understand what I'm saying.  And if you can understand what I'm saying, good.  Perhaps you see the value in what I'm suggesting.  Believe me, I've done it both ways, and I like my new way (speaking for my anger, and not letting it speak for me) much better...much, much better.  Hopefully, what I've learned can help you too.  Talk to you soon.

The Personal Power Coach

Accept It...

Today, I'm talking about acceptance.  Acceptance is the way to get what you're after.  If you want success, acceptance is key.  You have to know and accept that your success is possible and already in progress, and you have to accept the success you've already created, which is wherever you are in life right now...because you created it.  If you want love, you have to accept the love that is already being offered to you, because it is there and your acceptance of it will yield you more.  If you want any change in your life, then acceptance of what is of your life this minute is the first step to changing it.  Acceptance is your starting point.  It's what you can do immediately to make the internal adjustment to point you in your new desired direction.

For some of us, the idea of "getting closure" can hold us back.  Some of us need this elusive feeling with regard to some past hurt of one sort or another.  Often the closure we'll come to seek will require the action of an individual or occurrence of some circumstance outside of ourselves.  We'll go back and forth with others, and often even ourselves, hoping or demanding this seemingly abstract conceptual "thing".  It's just an idea.  It's just a feeling, and therefore, it really can only be experienced when we give ourselves permission to feel it.  Acceptance of the painful experience, meaning just the fact that it happened...without giving it any unnecessary or unpleasant meanings and without judging ourselves or those who we dared to let in only to betray us somehow...yes, acceptance, can give us this closure.

No, at first it's not easy.  We want what we want, but how easy is denial?  How does that help us to heal?  Acceptance is the alternative.  With time you'll get better at it and it'll get easier.  Trust it, and see.  Talk to you soon...

The Personal Power Coach

It's Not Your Fault...

It's not your fault...whatever it is that's holding you back from the life you see yourself living.  It's totally not your fault that this obstacle exists (in many if not most cases), but it is your responsibility to fix it and make your life happen.  That, my friend, is a fact.

If you play the victim, you're already disputing this fact, but it's still a fact.  I get it.  Your obstacles are very real to you, I'm aware of this.  You're not the only one who's ever had to face those though.  You think you are, but it's just not so.  It's simple.  If you want a better life, you have to face your life as it is.  You have to accept that you have created this, although mostly not consciously.  It's not the world, it's you.   The sooner you say this out loud to yourself and are not embarrassed, ashamed, or frustrated by it, the sooner your life will start to turn in a direction that you like better.  That much you can trust.

Your life will change as you start to feel more powerful, more in control.  You'll feel that way because you're now working from the place you should have been working all along.  You'll be operating from the "driver seat" of your world...of course, now you're going to have to learn to drive, and then you'll have the power to get out of the woods you've drifted into by blaming whatever it was you were blaming for how your life has turned out so far.  You'll have the power to make better choices, and the understanding to see the better results.  So take the responsibility, because it's yours.  Sure, it'll probably feel scary at first.  That just means you're doing it right, so don't stop.  This is your chance to do something, right now.  Trust it.  Do it.  Talk to you soon...

The Personal Power Coach

From Where You Are...

Most of us can think of how our lives could be better. If we could just get past this or that, everything would be great. Right? I know I've said just that, I still do sometimes. It's part of being human. We often speak of "What we'll do when..." don't we? That is, if we seek improvement in our lives at all, because it's also easy to get complacent.

Well, this is me challenging you to go for it. Whatever it is that would make you a little more excited about your life and happy to be living it, go get it. Whether it's getting in better shape, or going to Law school...at 50...take a step in that direction today.

Believe it or not, I'm talking to myself as much as anyone else, and resuming my regular posts on this here blog is me doing just what I'm thowing at you. It's a small step, but it's something. That's all I ask. So get to it. Talk to you soon...

The Personal Power Coach

I'm back!

Hello folks,

I know you've missed me, but I'm back on the job. Yay, right? Right! If you're wondering where I've been, I've been around, but I needed to attend to some important areas of myself and my life. In other words, I had to work on me for a little while. Am I done with that? Of course not, my life is a never-ending project which requires endless tinkering...and sometimes a complete overhaul. However, some recent events were very inspiring and I started getting that urge to share my positivity, or "shine my light again," so to speak. Aren't you glad to have me back? Of course you are! You're welcome hehe...

Well, that's the announcement for the day, and that is all for now. Talk to you soon.

Donovan...