This one is pretty simple. What I'm saying is, don't allow anger to make you say or do things that aren't an expression of your best self. It's OK to get angry from time to time. It is a natural emotional reaction to certain circumstances. It's useful, even helpful to get angry at times. Anger can give us strength, or courage, or even determination to overcome the adversities we might have to face at different times. It can be a good thing, if we can take the time and exercise the self control to use it properly.
Where it can become problematic is if, instead of staying in control...staying focused on our best actions and responses, we choose to lash out in destructive ways. This can be damaging to the life we're trying to build--damaging to relationships, to opportunities, and even to ourselves (mentally, emotionally and yes, even physically). This is what I'm referring to as "letting your anger speak for you." More than likely, it's not going to lead to anything good or productive. Often, the damage done isn't worth trying to repair, if it even can be. And if you can clean it up, the time that takes can set you back and cost you opportunities to come.
Have you ever looked back on how you acted and thought or said, "I only did/said that because I was so angry..."? If you have, this is what I'm talking about. I'm betting if you've done this, looking back you probably wish that you hadn't done it. At the very least I bet you wish that the person or set of circumstances that you give the credit for drawing out that response from you "wouldn't have driven you to do it," right? If so, then you can understand what I'm saying. And if you can understand what I'm saying, good. Perhaps you see the value in what I'm suggesting. Believe me, I've done it both ways, and I like my new way (speaking for my anger, and not letting it speak for me) much better...much, much better. Hopefully, what I've learned can help you too. Talk to you soon.
The Personal Power Coach
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
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