You’re Not Going To Like This…

If this one bothers you, I’m talking to you. In fact, it’s that tendency I’m talking about. You take things too personally too much of the time. Some of it has to roll off your back…some of it has to be tolerated…some of it you have to sit back and just laugh in the face of…including this post. It’s unnecessary stress on you when you take everything personally. You get mad, and/or you get stressed, many times about things or people that you can’t do anything about. That costs you your peace of mind. A very good friend once told me that nothing in the world should be worth giving up one’s peace of mind for, and I agree with him. So why take it personally? Just accept that some things are “screwed up”, but that your life can be great anyway. Got it? Good.

Besides the direct pain you cause yourself, anger and resentment, you can affect other areas of your life. You can also cause some of the more sensitive, less assertive people to start to distance themselves from you, even going as far as ending the relationship altogether just to avoid the stress of facing your judgment and “wrath”. You may even be “right” in your judgment, but sometimes it’s not worth the effort of explaining why or the damage it can do. Use your talent for judgment to weigh the pros and cons instead of on your people. That’s what it’s best used on anyway…decisions, not people.

So it can hurt you directly, mentally and emotionally, and it can ruin relationships if left unchecked. Sure, it can be a good thing, as can anything, when appropriate. That’s the key. Learn to control this power to take things personally. Do it when it brings you and/or those you love positive things like desired change. You’re highly passionate and not very good at hiding that, which means you can be ridiculously motivated and therefore get a ton of things done compared to most…life changing things. You’re also highly critical, which means your attention to detail is as intense as your emotions. However, if used at the wrong time in the wrong place in the wrong way, these attributes can burn down…or extinguish (like fire or water)…what you’re working so hard to build.

The bottom line is this: This is a world full of a whole bunch of differences. Ultimately, there’s not much that’s right or wrong, black or white. It’s all a bunch of gray areas and opinions, and it’s just too much work to try to be right all the time (most of us miss the mark far more than we’d like to admit…yes, most of us, and the rest just don’t even try).

So to help you out, I’ve compiled a small list of things that may get you started on protecting your most valuable asset (peace of mind):

-Not everyone will agree with you…and it’s OK

-Not everyone will do what you did or would…that’s OK too

-Those very people (read “screw-ups” to you, quite possibly) might succeed…or fail somehow anyway…yes, that’s OK too

-Not everything will go exactly as planned. It doesn’t mean you won’t succeed

-Your current approach may need review and revision. Sure, it may hurt to admit that. Just do it

-Someone (possibly younger, dumber or lesser than you) may criticize or correct you or your actions or results…worse yet, in front of other people. It happens (I’m not saying “lie down and take it” or that it’s OK, but it does happen)

-Someone may see you in some way you don’t want to be seen whether or not you think it’s accurate. Realize it’s a fact of life and happens to everyone at some time or another

-Understand that no one (that means you) is always right

There, that’ll start you on the path. Now go do it. Yup, I just told you what to do. What are you going to do about it? Bye now…

Donovan Bradley