The Best Relationships are NOT 50/50

Yes, I meant to say exactly that. It is in fact, my humble opinion that the most successful relationships are not 50/50 in terms of giving. No matter what type of relationship it is--whether it's business, a friendship or a romantic relationship, the 50/50 concept doesn't work for me. You see, it's my belief that for a relationship to work between two people that both of them must give it their ALL. That means relationships are 100/100. The two people together now make MORE in terms of value than the sum of their values individually...if the relationship is handled in that way. Look at it this way--if you're not doing your best in the relationship, then it will never be as good as it could be and you only have yourself to blame. All situations in life are limited only by the effort we ourselves put forth, and this applies especially well to relationships.

Another thing I have a problem with, specifically when it comes to romantic relationships, is the idea that we find a person to "complete us". How come we're not already complete? How come we aren't looking for someone wonderful to share our already wonderful lives with so that the life is even more wonderful? We shouldn't look for other people to make us happy, because that will never work. I've heard it said that happiness is an "inside job" and I agree with that. One has to find happiness inside himself, and then go share that happiness with the world. One has to learn to love herself, and then go share that love with the world. Learn to do this, and all of your relationships will be wonderful. All of them will just seem to effortlessly work and add to your happiness. Then it becomes easier to find the pleasure we're looking for in the relationship, because the happiness has already been taken care of within ourselves. Now I certainly don't claim to be a relationship expert by any standard, but I've been in a few (some very good and some very bad), and I've noticed that they've all improved drastically one way or another now that I understand what I'm sharing with you. Talk to you soon...

Rules About Happiness

What does it take for you to be happy on a given day? Have you ever thought about that? Does a very specific circumstance have to be present? Do many very specific circumstances have to be present? It's my belief that some of us make it more difficult than it needs to be to feel happy or to have a "good day". I say, why limit your ability to feel happy to only times when something unusually spectacular happens to you? Why not wake up having a good day? Why not have a great day despite...or better yet even, because of the day's challenges? Maybe you're able to learn something from that event or chain of events that forever makes you a better person and thereafter your very life easier and/or more rewarding? Why not let your default emotion be joy or happiness? Isn't it safe to say that life would be better that way? Would it not be more enjoyable if you were normally happy? People tend to be attracted to the energy of upbeat, positive people so you'd probably make more friends and see more opportunities come your way, giving you even still more reason to be happy, right? I totally agree.

That said, I'm going to share something with you that I learned about 2 years ago. It was during a very emotionally challenging time in my life that I woke up one morning (Jan. 01, 2007) after a very uplifting and relaxed New Year's Eve. It had been such a great feeling that I didn't remember feeling for quite some time. As I got up, I said to myself, "It's the best day of my life." From that day forward, I committed to making every day the best day of my life no matter what happened. In other words, I stopped basing my happiness on what happened to me. Anyone who knows me already knows what my answer will be when they ask me how I'm doing because "Best day of my life!" is my only answer. Further, I'm conscious of how I feel as I tell someone because I don't want to just allow the words to nonchalantly roll out of my mouth. I say it with passion. I feel the emotion of it...the energy of it. And you know what? It works! Many folks, upon hearing me say it tell me that I made their day (especially after I explain to them how I learned the trick). In fact, some of my friends and acquaintances come looking for me at times just to ask me how I'm doing so they can hear that. This gives me even more joy...it gives me the joy of purpose. I know I'm giving of my positive energy to those who could use a lift. I'm not saying every day goes exactly the way I want it to. I'm saying I'm happy no matter how it goes.

Enough about me though. This is about you and your happiness. What makes you happy? For most of us, it would probably serve us to be a little less specific about what has to happen to us for us to feel the feeling of happiness, and more certain about the fact that we're responsible for (and therefore should be committed to) our own joy. It's just a humble opinion, but my advice is to try it. You just might like it...