I want to talk about something that bugs me a whole lot whenever I hear it. It actually hurts my soul. It's the language many of us use. Simply put, it's quite often negative and downright ugly. I don't want to say I hear it all the time, but it's definitely not as rare as I'd like it to be. It's not profanity I'm talking about. Nor is it the language that we use to hurt others that I'm thinking of right now either, though that can be a major problem too. I'm talking about how badly we talk about ourselves.
We have to be careful how we talk about ourselves, because our subconscious minds pick up on it...and make our thoughts (which our words represent) reality. Have you ever made a mistake and said, "I'm such an idiot!"? Like I said, I hear it all the time. I even catch myself almost saying things like this...almost, but that's bad enough. I've made it my responsibility to take a stand on this with my friends, family, and acquaintances. Even with strangers I sometimes find myself saying stuff like, "Hey, don't beat yourself up." It can be easy to think it's harmless, but it's not. It seems like such a small thing, but over time those "inconsequential" thoughts add up...without fail.
Learn to give yourself some credit. Learn to accept that even the best of us make mistakes, and that it's OK that we do, as long as we learn from them. Why not give yourself some (honest) praise? Think of a success, no matter how small, a goal you set and fulfilled...a problem you met head on and solved...anything, and say to yourself, "Yay, me!" Start paying attention to what you say to and about yourself in all aspects of your life. I bet you'll find that the better you think of yourself in any specific area, the more success you'll have in your experience. That's no accident, friend. Use it to your advantage. Focus on your strengths, and praise yourself for them. When it comes to your weaknesses, here's what's important: we all have them. Get help when necessary, and believe in your ability to meet...and beat...any challenge. Thanks for reading. Talk to you soon...
Donovan Bradley
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A Life Changing Experience...
In this post, I thought I'd share with you something that changed my life, for the better, forever. I don't have any better way to describe it in one word than an "experience." It's one of the things I was exposed to in my life that inspired me to do this work and help others with my positivity and insight.
Getting right to the point, it's a group called PSI Seminars (www.psiseminars.com). Let me start by saying that I've barely scratched the surface of my own possibilities with them, but even the brief weekend work I did changed everything for me. Now mind you, I've always been someone who sought personal growth in any and everything I've ever done, so of course I'd feel that way. Just so you know, as I'm not in any formal way affiliated with PSI, I don't get anything for this endorsement, except for the satisfaction that I know I've shared something fantastic with you and potentially opened a door in your life that you've been seeking...whether or not you were previously aware. The people involved, the activities, the heightened sense of emotional and mental awareness they helped to bless me with, all of it I'll forever be thankful for...and I'm going back for more. I'm not sure when, but I will visit them again.
You see, they have a curriculum of courses designed to help anyone succeed at growing to their fullest potential. Of course it's our own responsibility to grow to our full potential (never, ever forget this), but countless people have given testimony (me being one of them) that these guys helped them in ways you can't even place a dollar amount on. The course I took was their entry level course, simply called "The Basic," and taking it was absolutely one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. My advice (which as you already know, is up to you to take or leave) is to check out their website (that link above) and see if they're worth a closer look to you. My guess is, for those of you reading this blog, it will be well worth the time it takes to look into. Bye for now...
Donovan Bradley
Getting right to the point, it's a group called PSI Seminars (www.psiseminars.com). Let me start by saying that I've barely scratched the surface of my own possibilities with them, but even the brief weekend work I did changed everything for me. Now mind you, I've always been someone who sought personal growth in any and everything I've ever done, so of course I'd feel that way. Just so you know, as I'm not in any formal way affiliated with PSI, I don't get anything for this endorsement, except for the satisfaction that I know I've shared something fantastic with you and potentially opened a door in your life that you've been seeking...whether or not you were previously aware. The people involved, the activities, the heightened sense of emotional and mental awareness they helped to bless me with, all of it I'll forever be thankful for...and I'm going back for more. I'm not sure when, but I will visit them again.
You see, they have a curriculum of courses designed to help anyone succeed at growing to their fullest potential. Of course it's our own responsibility to grow to our full potential (never, ever forget this), but countless people have given testimony (me being one of them) that these guys helped them in ways you can't even place a dollar amount on. The course I took was their entry level course, simply called "The Basic," and taking it was absolutely one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. My advice (which as you already know, is up to you to take or leave) is to check out their website (that link above) and see if they're worth a closer look to you. My guess is, for those of you reading this blog, it will be well worth the time it takes to look into. Bye for now...
Donovan Bradley
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thimbles & Buckets...
This post is about how we approach getting all we want out of life. I've known different types of people...and even been different types myself. With the help of some enlightened and very inspiring people I've had the pleasure of working with and learning from a few years ago, I've come to believe that the different types of people in this regard can be divided into 2 groups. It seems almost like some people go at life with a thimble to get what they want. What I mean by that is that they don't allow themselves to want very much. They say things, to themselves and others, such as "Don't get your hopes up," and other similar quotes. They seem to be not only OK with, but almost to prefer mediocrity from life. It has its advantages, of course. You don't have to work very hard to to not get what you want out of life...or at least, so it seems.
Now, while these types of people are busy making sure they don't aim too high so that they don't fall too far or work too hard, there are others (who I always try to model) that seem to approach life with a bucket so that they can catch more. Think of life as walking through a rainy day in order to picture this analogy. If you wanted to catch the rain, what would be more effective, the thimble or the bucket? Which one catches more, right? That's the question. Then, make a decision to approach life with a bucket from now on. Get more! You deserve more, it's really already yours. Decide for yourself now, that you're going to go out there with a bucket and get more of what you're after...which is success and happiness, I think.
The important thing to remember about making this decision, however, is that you can only make it for yourself. You can't convince another to throw away that thimble and get a bucket, because they're not in a place where they're willing to do the work you are (at least not yet). Even if you're successful getting them to see your point, they'll likely complain about how hard it is to live this way. The bucket "gets too heavy," in a manner of speaking. They want to go back to being comfortable and carrying that light and easy, tiny little thimble full of life...which even it probably isn't all that full. Only you can take the journey, and those who want similar results will look to you as an example...when they're ready to make a change in their own lives. That's it for now, talk to you soon.
Donovan
Now, while these types of people are busy making sure they don't aim too high so that they don't fall too far or work too hard, there are others (who I always try to model) that seem to approach life with a bucket so that they can catch more. Think of life as walking through a rainy day in order to picture this analogy. If you wanted to catch the rain, what would be more effective, the thimble or the bucket? Which one catches more, right? That's the question. Then, make a decision to approach life with a bucket from now on. Get more! You deserve more, it's really already yours. Decide for yourself now, that you're going to go out there with a bucket and get more of what you're after...which is success and happiness, I think.
The important thing to remember about making this decision, however, is that you can only make it for yourself. You can't convince another to throw away that thimble and get a bucket, because they're not in a place where they're willing to do the work you are (at least not yet). Even if you're successful getting them to see your point, they'll likely complain about how hard it is to live this way. The bucket "gets too heavy," in a manner of speaking. They want to go back to being comfortable and carrying that light and easy, tiny little thimble full of life...which even it probably isn't all that full. Only you can take the journey, and those who want similar results will look to you as an example...when they're ready to make a change in their own lives. That's it for now, talk to you soon.
Donovan
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Outside The Maze...
Picture life as one of those mazes in a biology lab study. You know, where some biologist puts rats and mice inside to observe them as they perform tasks and evade a few obstacles to get to their prize, that glorious cheese, as the biologist notes results. Really, sit back and imagine it, and picture that as an analogy of life for a moment. Now in this vision I've asked you to conjure up, what part do you play? Are you a tiny mouse, running frantically one moment down this path, then hesitating the next moment, not sure enough of yourself to make a decision, allowing luck to control your destiny? Many of us proceed through our lives this way, even if only at certain times. I know I do. Or are you the large bullying rat, plowing through the maze, running over everything and everyone in the process to get that cheese? I've done this too. Sometimes it's because I'm feeling myself, and other times it still comes from fear just managed a bit differently (like a fear that someone lesser or weaker is going to get "what's ours" if we don't). As I see it, this is how many, if not most, proceed through life. Maybe it serves some of us in some way. In fact, it has to serve a purpose in some way, or else we'd find a new way.
Now, why not take yourself outside the maze to look at the entire picture, at least from time to time, from the scientist's point of view? Just pull back and look at it from a better position. It gives you perspective and allows you, just maybe, to see certain things in relation to other things in your life. Now circumstances and events may start to make sense, and maybe some things won't seem so bad. I mean pull back and look at everything. Look at all of it, including yourself, and just see it for a moment. Don't judge it, don't try to fix it at this moment, just see it for what it is...whatever it is. That is what's called a "moment of clarity," and when you have one, I bet you'll know what to do next. You won't even need me for your next move. So go do it. Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
Now, why not take yourself outside the maze to look at the entire picture, at least from time to time, from the scientist's point of view? Just pull back and look at it from a better position. It gives you perspective and allows you, just maybe, to see certain things in relation to other things in your life. Now circumstances and events may start to make sense, and maybe some things won't seem so bad. I mean pull back and look at everything. Look at all of it, including yourself, and just see it for a moment. Don't judge it, don't try to fix it at this moment, just see it for what it is...whatever it is. That is what's called a "moment of clarity," and when you have one, I bet you'll know what to do next. You won't even need me for your next move. So go do it. Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
SELFLESSNESS: As Bad As Selfishness...
In most ways, this is true. Both traits have their advantages and disadvantages, but neither is the most self-serving, which is what you want to strive for. Being self-serving asks the question, "what serves me best?" Maybe, in a given situation, it serves you best to help someone else get what they want, as the case might be with a dear loved one...or to help someone get what they want first, as with a business partner or friend. Yes, to do this it becomes necessary to trust your fellow man, which isn't always the easiest thing for some of us to do. It is something you have voluntary control over, whether you admit it or not, however. Let's take a closer look.
Selfishness is a "Me first" kind of attitude that most of us agree is probably not the right attitude toward life. However, selflessness isn't exactly the virtue that many give it credit for being. Sure it may make you look good in some scenarios, especially to those who might directly or indirectly benefit from your selflessness, but in the end it's you who will be resentful and/or angry. Why is that? My thoughts are, that it's because when one is selfless it comes from guilt most times. The guilt comes from a deep down desire to be selfish like those folks the selfless person compares herself to, but also an even deeper feeling that they're not worthy and therefore don't deserve to be selfish. It's a defense mechanism which allows her to feel that she's doing the "right thing." She then says to herself, "Well, at least no one can ever say I was selfish," but who's she living for? Is she living for herself, or is she living for those whom she suspects might call her selfish?
Selfishness is easy. Here's a person who thinks that resources, meaning all things we want or need, are limited. Therefore, the mentality is, "I've got to get what's mine before it's all gone." This produces a "Me first" kind of lifestyle. That's all there is to it. If this is you, and it works for you, good for you. My question to you is, what parts of life are you missing out on while you're so busy hording what's "yours?" Make no mistake, you are missing out on something, and maybe that's OK by you.
On to a third option: Being self-serving, or as I like to put it, "Self-Adjusted," is about figuring out what's best for me in a universal sense. I mean by that, not just "Get what I want now..." like a selfish person might say or "My turn will come..." as a selfless person might declare. Self adjusted people look at the whole picture whenever possible and ask, "Is this what's best for all involved?" You see, they have no guilt about including themselves, but have confidence in the universe's abundance such that they won't try to exclude you to keep more for themselves either. They believe in their own value, and they believe in the value of all others as well. This mentality produces more for them than they could ever need, which keeps them happy and generous in the abundance cycle where we are all welcome. It's a wonderful place to be. Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
Selfishness is a "Me first" kind of attitude that most of us agree is probably not the right attitude toward life. However, selflessness isn't exactly the virtue that many give it credit for being. Sure it may make you look good in some scenarios, especially to those who might directly or indirectly benefit from your selflessness, but in the end it's you who will be resentful and/or angry. Why is that? My thoughts are, that it's because when one is selfless it comes from guilt most times. The guilt comes from a deep down desire to be selfish like those folks the selfless person compares herself to, but also an even deeper feeling that they're not worthy and therefore don't deserve to be selfish. It's a defense mechanism which allows her to feel that she's doing the "right thing." She then says to herself, "Well, at least no one can ever say I was selfish," but who's she living for? Is she living for herself, or is she living for those whom she suspects might call her selfish?
Selfishness is easy. Here's a person who thinks that resources, meaning all things we want or need, are limited. Therefore, the mentality is, "I've got to get what's mine before it's all gone." This produces a "Me first" kind of lifestyle. That's all there is to it. If this is you, and it works for you, good for you. My question to you is, what parts of life are you missing out on while you're so busy hording what's "yours?" Make no mistake, you are missing out on something, and maybe that's OK by you.
On to a third option: Being self-serving, or as I like to put it, "Self-Adjusted," is about figuring out what's best for me in a universal sense. I mean by that, not just "Get what I want now..." like a selfish person might say or "My turn will come..." as a selfless person might declare. Self adjusted people look at the whole picture whenever possible and ask, "Is this what's best for all involved?" You see, they have no guilt about including themselves, but have confidence in the universe's abundance such that they won't try to exclude you to keep more for themselves either. They believe in their own value, and they believe in the value of all others as well. This mentality produces more for them than they could ever need, which keeps them happy and generous in the abundance cycle where we are all welcome. It's a wonderful place to be. Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The Easiest Way To Win A Fight...
The title of this post is, I must admit, deceiving. It implies that what I'm about to suggest to you is easy, but the reality is it's not for most. Almost everyone, including myself, has a lot of trouble mustering the strength it takes to win using the tool I'm about to share with you. Prepare yourself for this one. If you learn this tool, however, you will be a very powerful person. You will be a very brave person. You will be a very wise person. Is it not these types of people who fare better in fights? Of course they do. So I'm betting you're ready to hear it (I know, you're reading this. Stay focused). Here goes: Learn to admit when you're wrong. I mean, really admit it. Learn to accept that it's OK to be wrong because mistakes are often times where our most valuable lessons come from. It doesn't mean you're less intelligent than another or that they're a better person than you because you were wrong this time, though they may even think it...though they may even say it to you...and your friends...and your boss...and your children. It's not a sign of weakness, if you're coming from the right place. It's a sign of strength. Strength of character, spirit, heart and mind.
It's one of those things in life that most of us know deep down is true, but we've been programmed for so long to prove ourselves to the world that we've lost our ability to see ourselves at times. Sometimes we're wrong. Sometimes others know something we don't, or we want something that's really not that fair, or we're just being unreasonable, or worse than that, we're being a stubborn jerk. Hey, it happens. We are human, but hindsight is 20/20. What's happened to some of us is that we've become afraid to look at ourselves objectively. We've learned to focus on everything but ourselves, and in the process deluded ourselves into thinking that we're flawless. You see, it's our flaws, that make us perfect. So own them. As I said, it gives you much strength and power. When you do (and know you're working to improve them), you'll see how powerful and wise it makes you feel. You'll feel powerful because you are. Those who would oppose you on an issue, believe it or not, will see this power in you too and together you'll win, as you strive for understanding instead of victory. Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
It's one of those things in life that most of us know deep down is true, but we've been programmed for so long to prove ourselves to the world that we've lost our ability to see ourselves at times. Sometimes we're wrong. Sometimes others know something we don't, or we want something that's really not that fair, or we're just being unreasonable, or worse than that, we're being a stubborn jerk. Hey, it happens. We are human, but hindsight is 20/20. What's happened to some of us is that we've become afraid to look at ourselves objectively. We've learned to focus on everything but ourselves, and in the process deluded ourselves into thinking that we're flawless. You see, it's our flaws, that make us perfect. So own them. As I said, it gives you much strength and power. When you do (and know you're working to improve them), you'll see how powerful and wise it makes you feel. You'll feel powerful because you are. Those who would oppose you on an issue, believe it or not, will see this power in you too and together you'll win, as you strive for understanding instead of victory. Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
It's Your World...
What I mean by that is that you are responsible for it. It is, to this point, what you believe it to be...not necessarily what you believe it should be. It starts there (I'm pointing at your heart), with your own beliefs. Your beliefs about yourself, and your beliefs about all the things and people around you. Those very beliefs lead to the actions you take and ultimately to the results you create for yourself. It's your world. This explains the saying that, "Your world is a reflection of you." That means, if you want it to be a better world, who does it start with? Who should do better? Who should get better? You don't blame the mirror for the reflection...it's doing what it was designed to do.
Too often we find ways to blame other things and people for what's wrong with our world. Too often, as a society, we find ways to justify why we haven't become, achieved, or acquired what we desire by declaring that it's due to some unfortunate circumstance that exists in our lives. "It's the economy..." we say, or, "If only I had more money..." or, "If only I were taller and prettier..." or, "I don't have time to go back to school or start over..." or, "She messed it all up for me..." None of that is true. What's true is, if only we would take responsibility for our own happiness and success, we could have any and all things we want--right now. You have to go out and win anyway. By winning I don't mean beating someone. I mean getting what you want. You deserve it. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and actions, because that's all you and no one else but you. The sooner you accept that, the sooner your world will change for the better (and by "you" I mean "we" since I deal with this every single day just like everyone else). Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
Too often we find ways to blame other things and people for what's wrong with our world. Too often, as a society, we find ways to justify why we haven't become, achieved, or acquired what we desire by declaring that it's due to some unfortunate circumstance that exists in our lives. "It's the economy..." we say, or, "If only I had more money..." or, "If only I were taller and prettier..." or, "I don't have time to go back to school or start over..." or, "She messed it all up for me..." None of that is true. What's true is, if only we would take responsibility for our own happiness and success, we could have any and all things we want--right now. You have to go out and win anyway. By winning I don't mean beating someone. I mean getting what you want. You deserve it. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and actions, because that's all you and no one else but you. The sooner you accept that, the sooner your world will change for the better (and by "you" I mean "we" since I deal with this every single day just like everyone else). Talk to you soon.
Donovan Bradley
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